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Monday, March 27, 2006

Damned Quarter-Moon Ice Cubes

Now for something completely different...

Yep. You read it here first. I've been waiting a long time to bring up this up and since I now have this shiny new blog, NOW is that time.

I HATE quarter-moon ice cubes (and by inference) the machines that create them.

What? What is this guy talking about?

If you remember back when ice makers became common, you may recall there were two competing designs. One made ice in the shape of small cylinders. Technically, they weren't cubes but they worked as well in that they allowed the drink to move easily around and provided a decent cooling surface.

The OTHER design is the flakey one. These are the ones that look like a quarter moon and they have the nasty habit of taking up residence oriented like a smile in your glass.

Don't let appearances fool you. That's no smile. It's really an evil grin. As soon as you take a drink, you'll understand why. For some strange reason (easier to eject?), this design seems to have won out. It's become so prevalent, I'm sure you already know where this is going.

KER-SPLASH! That's your drink all over the front of your shirt. Those little grins form a dam holding back the liquid until that magic moment. When the pressure becomes too great, the dam breaks and the damn cube slams against your nose. It's happened to me so many times I've lost count. It's a challenge trying to get the drink without moving the cubes. I often lose.

My father told me don't bother bitching unless you can offer a better solution, so here it is. There are two reasonable defences against these icy critters. The one that's most satisfying is simply to change the setting to crush on the ice maker and listen to them die a horrible death. That seems to be what most people do. I've check quite a few ice makers and I think this is at least a factor in the "crush" settings I find.

But if you don't like your drink watered down that fast, here's another trick - think outside the smile. Go out and buy some of those square glasses or even hex ones - any shape but round. It should take care of the problem. Isn't design fun?

If anyone else has any other good solutions, I'd like to hear them.

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